Tools, with which everyone should be familiar.

[GAHorn]

DRILL PRESS:
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL:
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "Oh, ****!"

SKILL SAW:
A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS:
Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER:
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW:
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS:
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH:
Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW:
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW:
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:
A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:
Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:
A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR:
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER:
A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER:
Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent to the object we are trying to hit. Similarly used to locate fingers or thumbs on the opposite hand.

UTILITY KNIFE:
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. It is especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

SOB TOOL:
Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "Son of a b" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

[busav8or]

Glad to see I've been using most of these correctly for years!

[Jimmy M.]

George.....sometimes you crack me up..
Up here we have the Robertson screwdriver...its got lots of traction....
if the screw is a little tight, it will break the head right off....

[wingnut]

George, you forgot the rivet gun, used to make smily faces and bullet holes adjacent to rivets, and bucking bars for dropping into the leading edge of the wing, of course always on the last rivet to buck, making a nice "outy" dent

[HA]

there are really just 3 kinds of tools. Globbers, Beaters and Screwdrivers.

Use your Globber to glob onto something so you can hold it still while you use your Beater to fix it. Screwdrivers are used if you need a chisel or prybar. A Globber or screwdriver can also be used as a Beater if needed.

oh the days of replacing riveted sickle sections on the swather using two rocks and a screwdriver/chisel (tool kit provided by my father-in-law)

[W.J.Langholz]

oh the days of replacing riveted sickle sections on the swather using two rocks and a screwdriver/chisel (tool kit provided by my father-in-law)


GEESSHHH HA
I thought we were the only ones that had a fancy tool kit like that.... I think that's where I learned some really good cus words

W.

[hilltop170]

Speaking of aircraft tools, don't forget the 24" Stilson wrench needed to remove the spin-on oil filter some dumbass tightened down as far as he could without any lubrication. All the while charging $80/hr. (It was not on my 170)

[blueldr]

Richard,
When you refer to a "Stilson" wrench, it leads me to believe you're older than I thought.

[W.J.Langholz]

Is a Stilson wrench anything like a "Waterpump Plyers"

W.

[170C]

No! A Stilston wrench is much heavier than waterpump pliers. Many Stilston's are referred to as "pipe wrenches". As waterpump pliers are, Stilston's or pipe wrenches come in many sizes. As you may know, they are indespensible if having to work with metal pipes (UGH). I guess the three main tools one must have are 1) hammer, 2) screwdriver & 3) a pair of pliers. Never hurts to have a supply of baleing wire to supplement those basic tools.

[hilltop170]

Richard,
When you refer to a "Stilson" wrench, it leads me to believe you're older than I thought.

I'm not that old (not eligible for social security for another 3 years) but I broke out in the oil field with a bunch of old guys. Laying 3" screwed pipe flowlines on top of the ground for a mile or two at a time imprints many things in your memory. We didn't get to use 24" Stilsons though, they were 48".

[johneeb]

stillson-wrench.gif

Stillson wrench [ˈstɪlsən]
n
(Engineering / Tools)â„¢ a large wrench having adjustable jaws that tighten as the pressure on the handle is increased
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged 6th Edition 2003. © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

ThesaurusLegend: Synonyms Related Words Antonyms
Noun 1. Stillson wrench - a large pipe wrench with L-shaped adjustable jaws that tighten as pressure on the handle is increased
pipe wrench, tube wrench - adjustable wrench for gripping and turning a pipe; has two serrated jaws that are adjusted to grip the pipe

Based on WordNet 3.0, Farlex clipart collection. © 2003-2008 Princeton University, Farlex Inc.



And then there is this from the "Progressive Mechinist" which says, if you can read the small print, that the Stillson wrench is an improvement on one of my favorites the Monkey Wrench.

Monkey_and_Stillson_wrenches.png

[Harold Holiman]

I thought everyone who works with tools, regardless of age, knew what a stilson wrench and a monkey wrench were. For the tools covered, I think George has given a very good description.

Harold

[LBPilot82]

If you can fix something with a hammer... you've got an electrical problem.

[W.J.Langholz]

John
the one on the left sure looks like a ford wrench to me

w.