The International Cessna^® 170 Association

Hi all. I am envious when reading postings about your wives flying to Texas barbeques and going here and there. My wife and I just got into it about my wanting to take our 3 year old daughter up. It's a perfect day in the Puget Sound and I was to have charge over our daughter all day while my wife catches up on work. In previous discussions she stated clearly she didn't want to go up with me (sad enough), but ironically didn't care if I took our daughter up. My own personal milestone has been reached (I wanted X-amount of hours logged before I would risk taking her up). But now my wife says she never wants me to take my daughter flying, ever. She really drove a spike through my heart with that. My intention when learning to fly was to share the adventure with my family. Now it looks like it will just be me up there. I'm a great pilot, safe as can be and would be 100 times more cautious with such a precious cargo....Has anyone else faced this? How do you deal with it? Will I ever get my wife up with me or should I just accept it?

Seriously!!!!!........and how long you been married........... I'm not touching this with a 40 foot pole

How long have you been married? How old is your woman?

What about flying does your wife not like?

My woman does not like boring holes in the sky. My boys, 11,10,and 5, cannot get enough of it. Especially the 5 year old. My wife will go if we are traveling somewhere like the beach etc.She is not against me flying but does not share the same enthusiasm. However she does not prevent the opportunities for me to share with my boys.

I suppose just reading this I would suspect there is something else eating your bride and killing your aviation aspirations with the family is her tactic.

I'm sorry you are having this trouble. I'd try to figure out what the real problem is.

All the best my friend

Unfortunately lots of pilots face this with their spouse. And it goes both ways. I know some women who's husband don't fly with them. Most often there is a reason, usually fear. And if one is afraid they are not going to have fun. And if they are afraid and not having fun it's pretty hard to be enthusiastic about it.

My wife has flown with me, specially when we were younger. But she does not enjoy it for what it is. She enjoys our time together and if we are traveling and our airplane is the most convenient, or, in the case of say an Association convention the reason we are flying, she will fly with me. She might go for a ride other than that on special occasions if I asked her but for the most part she would rather be doing something else. And so we have an understanding. She does something else, I go flying.

Truth be told I'd bet most spouses are like mine. If flying is not their thing it just isn't. Yes there are a few pilots who's spouse shares their love of aviation. Perhaps they are the lucky ones. (Or perhaps, they aren't so lucky. )

The fact your wife won't let your daughter ride with you tells me she has a fear of flying. Perhaps she fears flying because of misconceptions about it. This you can work on. Maybe she just gets air sick and that is no fun but that doesn't mean your kids will. Perhaps you can work on this as well.

Good luck.

Lucky me, my girlfriend is a pilot too (ATP with a couple type ratings even). We met at the airline I used to work for. Our little girl already has 30 hours in 185's and 1.3 in my 170. She quit the airlines but stays current in a 150/150 that belongs to a friend of mine.

Now that I'm done bragging, I agree with Bruce, there is probably something underlying here...maybe with a little digging you can get to the root of the problem.

I do wonder about the thought process that it's too dangerous for her or her children to do it but it's perfectly OK for you to do it.

I have a friend whose wife is that way about motorcycles and I never understood her lack of concern for her husband's safety.

Daniela (my wife) was terrified when she first flew with me. To the point that she forgot to breath when we took off and we had claw marks in the seat after landing.
Now? She doesn't want to go above 2000 AGL because "you cant see anything" and prefers 500 agl and below!
Yesterday I had to climb to a whopping 4000 feet to avoid bumpy air. It was still bumpy but with nothing to look at, Dani slept the whole way home. Heck, we've even done stalls and engine outs now.

At first, Dani REALLY wanted NOTHING to do with the airplanes. They were dangerous, they were expensive, they took all my time and they weren't part of the picture before we got married. It was a rough year.

Trying to argue the safety record of GA is useless. Trying to win an argument by showing her how irrational her beliefs are wont work either.

I really don't know HOW I convinced her to get into the plane but a lot of it was explaining how airplanes are actually pretty damn boring. They don't zoom off the ground, they don't plummet when the engine quits, they turn slower than a car and at altitude they are as exciting as a sailboat on a calm day. It's relaxing, like a nice drive down a country road.
...That and I flew to the beach for lunch a few times when I was "at the airport"

Worst thing you can do it try to push it on her. Maybe start with an airport cookout where you know other wives and kids will be there.

Good Luck!

Thanks guys...She flew with me once when I was a student, which means the back seat. She became air sick and nearly vomited, but she maintained. She said she "enjoyed" the flight, but I suspect it was due to my instructor's presence. She said today she is scared every time I go flying and can't stand the fear of her daughter being harmed. I have also tried (without success) to explain the safety, fun and convenience of flying GA. I really want to expose my daughter to all the great things one can do in a private plane, but I don't want to sneak her out to the airfield in order to do it. I've really felt deflated all day, but it'll work its self out, I guess.

Mr Duffee

If your original post is not a "Prank" to get a rise out some people......then I would say you have a serious problem.
May I remind you this is a public forum for the whole world to read.......That being said , if this were my house there would be no sneaking on anything and "Nothing" would get between the relationship with my wife and child. I love flying.....it is the only hobby I have ....it is in my blood......I live for the time I can spend in the air.........but if I had to choose between the plane and the love and trust of my family....the plane would be gone in a heartbeat and I would never look back and never regret it.......

enough said my 2 cents


W.

Repackaging may be required....if you going to somewhere interesting, especially interesting and doing things that you wouldn't normally do but may be of interest to her and its introduced slowly and gradually then staging may assist in the sale.
I understand Bruce's comments almost exactly. In my own situation I sometimes stretch a flight day and may later become aware that I obviously should have had a better plan. So if things do work out over time always keep in mind it's a plan that requires management.

Thanks again for the replies. I can assure you my posting is not for fun and not a prank. I'll work it out.

(broken link removed)

Show her this video!

Something else I did was talk to Dani about the GA accidents that do happen and expose the chain of events that lead up to them. Then, I talk about all the opprotunities the pilots had to avoid the accident and how I would have behaved differently. This is tricky because you don't want to sound like the high and mighty pilot that never makes a mistake (like I just did now...give me a break, I'm typing on an iPad)

The idea is to show her that you're not too proud to turn around, go around, land early or not take off in the first place because if it isn't safe and doesn't feel right, it's not fun. I'm a day time VFR pilot that flys 75 hours a year.

Explain to her that the air is like the ocean. There are beautiful calm days, choppy days and big sea days that you don't fly in. In the beginning I only took Dani up in very calm days and even turned around a few times because it was a little bumpy and I didn't want her to see that yet.

The next perfect clear blue sky day, when the airplane s begging to go fly, put the family in the car and go for a nice country drive. Mabe stop by the airport to watch a few people takeoff and land but don't bring up flying. It'll work out.

I'm kinda where Bruce and Patrick are. Mary has been flying with me since 1968. Flying is not a passion to her, but she would rather fly than drive when going anywhere of a distance. Some years ago she did take ground school, took and passed the written test for Pvt Pilot. This at least gave her some knowledge of what was going on and took the mystery out. It however forced me to be a better pilot Of my two daughters, one picked up the love of aviation (and has a 170), the other one, who has no interest in flying, but does not have a fear of it. In all of these years, I have never figured out why some folks have a deep seated fear of flying, I think it might be a problem with having no control over what is happening while flying. You do have to have complete confidence in that person sitting in the left seat. Perhaps the spouse at least participating in one of the pinch hitter courses would help

Have you perused NTSB reports for Cessna 170 crashes? Very rarely are they fatal, and the ones that are, the airplane had no business operating in the environment at the time. Certainly you would take every precaution with your family flying around, and likely wouldn't even fly in marginal weather. It would take some thought regarding the approach to your wife. Telling her that the airplane can just barely kill you isn't the best route to take, but the airplanes (170s specifically) are very safe. My cousin's wife was funny about flying with him because she was worried about their kids being orphaned if something happened with both of them in the airplane at the same time. She did have some grounds as her father was killed in a gyrocopter accident back in the 1980s. Neither one of their kids had a problem with flying, and I don't recall her preventing their kids flying.

I certainly feel for your situation and wish you a positive resolution in the matter. I am lucky in that my wife is very interested in flying. I did most of my flying before we met, and when I started to finish my ticket several years ago with a CFI friend in his Maule, she flew with us for about 1.5 hours doing air work and takeoffs and landings. She told me that the only part she didn't like was that she wasn't up front. She really wanted to fly in our 170 before it was sold; hopefully I can finish my private one of these days and give her that chance.

I think that general assimilation into "our" culture by attending family-oriented flyins, barbeques and whatnot is a good step as has been stated by several on here. Another thought (that I probably glanced over) is that your wife likely was ill because she was in the back of the airplane. I don't care for riding in the back seats of cars, but I don't get sick there or in the back seat of an airplane. Riding right seat and perhaps taking the controls for a while in flight would do a great deal to allay her fears, but the first step is to get her back in an airplane. I know that I used to be uncomfortable flying aerobatics as a passenger, but taking control of the airplane helped ease the tension.

Good luck!

You might consider getting her to take pinch-hitter flying course, just her and an instructor. Not only will she understand the plane better, she won't fear for her life if something were to happen to you while the two of you were in the air. My wife has only flown with me a few times because she is afraid of our children having to fend for themselves if we were to crash. She has no problem me taking the boys up and even encourages it. Said I can't sell the 150 'cause she wants one of our sons to have it later.

You know the old joke about "my wife said it was either her or the airplane... Boy, I'm sure gonna miss her."

Good luck with this one.

John