The International Cessna^® 170 Association

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.


Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.
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The man had a heart attack ten times milderthan his wife .


Moral of the story: Women are not really smart, they just think they are.

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humor.

I only have one question. What is a frog trap?

Lady Golfer and the Cow.......


A man staggers into the emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, it was like this" said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had something white in it's rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. Thats when I made my mistake."
"What did you do?", asked the doctor.
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"Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and yelled to my wife, "Hey! This looks like yours!"

Dam I fell over in the chair Del, that is a good one.

Okay, let's keep it gender neutral (not because it's politically correct, but because we are gentlemen )............

Three friends married women from different parts of the world.
One man married a Filipino. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a Thia. He gave his wife orders to do all the cleaning, dishes, and cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw results, the third day he saw was better. By the fourth day he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Arkansas. He ordered her to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry done, and hot meals on the table. He said the first day he didn't see anything. And the second day he still didn't see anything. The third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself lunch and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty peeing.

A married couple in their mid-forties were walking down the beach and the husband spied a bottle half-buried in the sand.
He pulled it up and brushed off the sand and the friction released a Genie from the bottle who said, "THANK YOU, for releasing me from my glass-prison. For that kindness I shall grant each of you ONE WISH!"

To the woman he asked, "What is your desire?", and the woman contemplated for a moment then replied, ...

"Well! I don't know what to wish FOR! Our children are all grown and off to successful careers and families.
And our own fortunes have been excellent, our stock-accounts are doing well ever since we retired-early.... I can't IMAGINE
what I'd ever want or need other than a LONG and HEALTHY LIFE!"

POOOOF!!!! ...the Genie gave it to her...LONG, and HEALTHY LIFE!

Next, the Genie turned to the husband and asked, "And good sir,...What will be YOUR one wish?"

The husband looked down at his feet a moment, then at his wife, and then back at the Genie.... "Well...", he said....
"It may seem selfish...but I just wish my wife here was HALF MY AGE!"

POOOOOF!!!!.... the Genie made him ninety-years old.

Strangely enough, I'm beginning to generate a little more respect for Arkies.

blueldr wrote:Strangely enough, I'm beginning to generate a little more respect for Arkies.

Well blueldr, tell me, is it because the men are gentlemen, or because our women are fiesty?

Mena Arkansas, before Carrie Nation was escorted out of town under protective guard...

An old man shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat.

He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance.. Never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.

The old man - not wanting to get a toe blown off - started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.

The loud clicks carried clearly through the silence.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening.

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said , "No sir..... But... I've always wanted to."

An Arkansas Aircraft mechanic after years of dealing with demanding aircraft owners and bureacratic FAA inspectors began to consider retirement from the profession and became suspicious of his own sanity,... so he called a psychiatrist and made an appointment for an examination.

When he walked into the psychiatrist's office he was wearing nothing but a clear, plastic, see-through raincoat, ....and the doctor looked at him and said, "I can easily see you're nuts!"

"Everybody loves a nut".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWCDBKx8Q_w

Del,
I must admit that my admiration for arkies was enhanced by my after work experiences in Blythville, Ar. When I was flying DC-6s on Logair for World Airways,
we used to terminate and RON after our early evening stop at Blythville AFB. Our favorite resturant for our rather late dinner was a catfish place. We normally arrived very shortly before their normal closing time. I always managed to convince my co-pilot that a nice bottle of gin for this trip was good idea, particularly if he wanted anything better than a merely satisfactory performance report. The gin was amazingly effective when generously applied to the young ladies working there who were about to finish work for the evening. I have no idea if gin was difficult to acquire in Blytheville, but it seemed to have an amazingly salubrious effect on the local belles. God love Arkie girls!

So outsiders can now rest easy instead of worrying about the gene-pool in AR.

Interestingly enough, a "google" of "Arkansas gene pool" revealed the following story (and I also found it interesting that one of the subjects was actually named "Poole"....although his first name was Thurston...I wonder if his middle name was not "Gene"):

[Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:"Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. A replacement fuse was not available, but Wallis noticed that the 22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded eastbound toward the White River Bridge. After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. 'Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might both be dead,' stated Wallis. 'I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened,' said the investigating officer. On being notified of the wreck, Lavinia Poole (Poole's wife - the other half of any offspring's genome) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and whether anyone had gotten them from the truck!

When a Oklahoma farmer's milk cow died, the only one he could find to replace her was in Arkansas. He made the deal, brought the cow home and invited his neighbor to come check out his new cow. As the cow's new ower was demonstrating to his neighbor how well the cow milked, she tended to "pass gas" with each pull. The neighbor commented, "I see you got your cow from Arkansas". The farmer said, "yes, but how did you know where I got her?" The neighbor simply replied, "my wife's from Arkansas."