In honor of Valentines day

[4583C]

An unnamed Cajun sent me this.

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A
TWO-LINE
RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND
LINE:

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.


I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?


My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime

[GAHorn]

Ol' Gar gave the following to Deenie!

Collards is green, toilet-tank water is Blue
and I"m so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Bandit's and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain"t got no scales but I luv you anyway.
Yo"re as satisfy"n as okry jist a-fry"n in the pan.
Yo"re as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.

You have some"a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we"re in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
well, I"m in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,
what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape yo"re there fer yore man,
to patch up life"s troubles and fix what you can.

Yo"re as cute as a junebug a-buzzin" overhead.
You ain"t mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete. Ain"t nuttin" I lack.
Yore complexion, it"s perfection, like the best vinyl sidin".
despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin".

Me "n" you"s like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
we go together like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine"s Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart, it"s romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger."That"s impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.


But for this man, honey, these won"t do.
Cause yor"e too special, you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds......
... IT"S A NEW TROLL"N MOTOR!

[bsdunek]

Great! I've seen the second one but not the first.
Let me state that my wife is smart, good looking, fun, good cook, creative, and chases me out to the airport so I can work on the 170. Can't beat that noway.

[4583C]

Shamelessly stolen from another board I watch.
On the subject of romance...and lack thereof:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/stor ... Id=6592990

The ads at the bottom are brutal!

It's from NPR George